For you with parched tongues on the
road to make good better than best, here is a canister of water for your
journey.
I am strong.
I don’t say this to convince myself that I am, neither
am I telling myself that I will be in the future.
I am strong - this is a given.
I am who I am because He loves me, because He raises
me up and places me on His mighty shoulder every time I get lost and go astray,
because He searches for me and blesses me with His beatific dimpled smile when
I hide myself in the dark, because no matter how hard I tug, He never lets go
of me, because He loves me.
I am not sorry if this sounds arrogant; sometimes the
truth need be told with pride.
I don’t need anyone to tell me I am beautiful,
amazing, unique. A voice more true, more awe-inspiring, more intense and
terrible than the voices of they who surround me vivifies me with this
knowledge at every second of my life.
Sometimes I shut my senses to this reality, sometimes
I allow myself to believe that I am less than I am, to actually be less than He has made me. But He
doesn’t allow me to wallow in this self-indulgent stupidity for long. When I
shut my ears, hold my breath and grit my teeth, He sends me the sunrise and
starlit nights to remind me that He who made all this beauty made me; thus I am
no mistake. When I close my eyes and detach myself from my skin, He sings me
songs through those He has blessed that burn my heart and fill my eyes. No
matter where I am, He is there, every moment telling me that because He made
me, I am everything.
I am not perfect.
I am not perfect.
I may tell myself I am, but I am not; so when I do, a
part of me stops trying to be perfect and gets lazy. But I cannot afford such
complacence. I cannot take it for granted that He has made me strong, awesome,
amazing, blessed. I have to keep working so that more than staying this way, I
become even better, more beautiful than I was in the last second. He has
everything so this is the only way I can thank Him for all He has made me.
I am not perfect, and because I know this, I can
forgive myself every time I fall and feel His eyes dim. But I will keep on
travelling this road to perfection because it is my trying that makes me perfect
before His eyes. I will fall because I am human, but I will rise because my
Maker is divine and He lives and burns within me.
I have everything I need to be everything I want to
be. Thus I will hold unto His hand so that when I stray, whether I am kicking
and screaming or patiently accepting, He will raise me upon His shoulder to
more than I let myself be.
Amen.
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