My dear,
See the thing about being overweight?
If it doesn’t make you happy, lose it; if it does, keep it. That's just my
opinion.
I’m
writing this letter to two sets of puzzling friends:
1. People who are overweight;
and
2. People who pretend to be overweight
so that they can get compliments on ‘how great they actually look!’
I’d
rather not say anything to those who are overweight but still fish for
compliments. I’m sure you can already guess what my opinion is.
To my first set of friends…
Let
me let you in on a secret. If you love your body the way it is, I can tell you
confidently that though they wouldn’t stop, the number of snide comments passed
within your hearing will greatly reduce, replaced instead with envious and
gushing comments from those who aspire to be like you because you own yourself
completely and are not ashamed of who you have become.
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| Picture credit: www.mtv.com |
Look
at some of the overweight celebrities we adore and aspire to attain at least a
modicum of their confidence: Mo’Nique Hicks (PHAT Girlz), Adele, (needs no
introduction), Rebel Wilson (Pitch Perfect), Meghan Trainor (All About that
Bass), Rick Ross (Hustlin’), Jack Black (King Kong 2009), Gabourey Sidibe
(Empire), etc. These are persons who are overweight yet so proud of who they
are, they have become a franchise. Of course some of them have walked the
weight-loss journey but we’ll circle back to that.
While
I admire the desire of most overweight people to make themselves look more
beautiful, I have to wonder, what is their definition of beauty?
The
world has forced us to accept physical beauty as slim, curvy in the right
places,
smooth skin, long full hair, and exotic painting on great cheekbones
for the ladies, well-proportioned muscles, above average height, great hair,
teeth and cheekbones for the guys. But who is ‘the world’? Considering that
‘the world’ is an abstract term which actually represents us as a people, why
then don’t we understand that we hold all the power we need to change
world-standard opinions?
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| Picture credit: www.gracecao.co |
Here’s an excerpt from an article by Grace Cao, quoting Adele:
““Adele said: “I love food and hate exercise. I don’t have time to work out… I don’t want to be on the cover of Playboy or Vogue. I want to be on Rolling Stone or Q. I am not a trend setter… I’m a singer… I’d rather weigh a ton and make an amazing album than look like Nicole Richie and do a shit album. My aim in life is never to be skinny.””
Excess fat isn’t good for health reasons; this we all know. I respect persons who choose to lose weight in order to better themselves health-wise or even discipline-wise, and this is my reason: they can be happy once they have lost that weight because they had all the right reasons for embarking on the weight-loss journey in the first place. But losing weight just so that you can look great in the eyes of others can be a Trojan horse – a source of happiness and confidence initially, then of depression and constant insecurity along the line.
In this article by Whitney Greer, Mo’Nique’s reasons for choosing weight loss
are, in my opinion, all the right reasons:
“Comedienne and actress Mo’Nique’s Oscar-winning performance in 2009’s “Precious” put her
on the map in Hollywood, after she spent her career embracing her big girl
status, often saying bigger is better. But it’s what her husband said to her
that Mo’Nique revealed on Arsenio that helped change her mind to begin losing
weight.
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| Picture credit: healthywomenx.com |
“For a long time I was a child in my way of
thinking. I thought that I could eat what I wanted, do what I wanted, and was
reckless in the sense of abusing my body. That’s when I was younger. I think
that the journey I have to take now is that I have babies. I have a son who is
23, but I also have a son who is nine. And we have twins who are seven... I
want to be able to play with their children. I don’t want to be a burden on my
family due to self-neglect… I was fortunate to watch my grandmother play with
my children. I want to be in the same position.”
Two other reasons for
her change of heart for her health is being diagnosed with high blood pressure and topping out at 262 pounds.
“My husband said ‘That’s
too much baby. I want you for a lifetime. I love you so much that I can’t lie
to you,” Mo’Nique remembered. “I had never felt that type of love before.””
So
my advice to all my overweight sisters and brothers is this: examine your
reasons for gaining weight and weigh them against your reasons for wanting to
lose weight. These reasons hold the key to lasting happiness with your body.
For example, if depression, lack of discipline or – God forbid – heartbreak
caused you to become who you are and you are trying to gain control of your life
once more, then losing weight is the path for you. However, if your reasons
lean more towards others’ opinion of you than your own opinion of self, then
bae, please look to Rebel Wilson and listen to All About that Bass until you can sing it in opera from your sleep.
Bottom
line is this: you have got to learn to love yourself and understand that having
a positive view of yourself (a truthful positive view please, not those
positive-speaking lies that have effect only in your head but never manifest in
your body, mind or attitude) is more important than other people’s negative
view of you. So when they say ‘nay’, if you are sure that ‘yay’ is the right
thing for you, then ‘Yay!!’ away, my dear! But in the meantime before you make
your decision, quit whining about it; it is tiring listening to you being so
defensive all the time.
And to my second set of friends…
Whenever
that spirit swoops down upon you and consumes you with the urge to say
something derogatory about yourself so that others would rush in to tell you
how wonderful you are, do yourself some good.
Shut up.
Yours
in friendship always,
∞
Omachies.
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